Ficorpio
Chapter 1
The summer I turned eighteen, Ethan Sterling convinced me to cross a line I had never crossed before.
I endured the pain, secretly happy through the entire night. After six years of unrequited love, I thought he had finally chosen me.
Then, the next day, I overheard one of his friends teasing him.
“Damn, Sterling. The prettiest girl in our class gave you your first taste.”
Humiliation washed over me. I was about to slip away before anyone noticed me when Ethan’s careless reply drifted through the classroom door.
“I want to go after Vanessa, but I was worried she’d think I was too inexperienced.
“So I practiced with Natalie first.”
I said nothing.
Before the university application deadline, I quietly changed my first choice from Boston to New Orleans.
Ethan’s words struck like thunder from a clear sky.
My mind went completely blank.
It was a sweltering summer afternoon, yet cold seeped through every inch of my body.
The conversation inside the classroom continued. His friends seemed stunned into silence for a moment before someone finally spoke.
“That’s our privileged golden boy. Even the prettiest girl in class is only good enough for practice.”
“Doesn’t that make her some kind of kept woman? Someone there whenever he wants to have fun?”
Ethan laughed, utterly unconcerned.
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not like she got nothing out of it.”
Someone immediately chimed in.
“Right, right. Natalie is a little skinny, though. Compared to Vanessa, her body is—”
A book slammed into him before he could finish.
“Shut up,” Ethan snapped. “It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. The mood was already there, and besides, she looked like she was having a pretty hard time holding back too…”
The others understood exactly what he meant and started laughing again.
“Who knew Natalie was secretly that wild?”
“Man, Ethan really is irresistible. If someone serves herself up to you, why wouldn’t you take what’s offered?”
“She’s been chasing you for years. I guess she finally got what she wanted. She was probably dying to jump you.”
The laughter inside grew louder.
I bit down hard on my lower lip and clenched my fists until my nails dug into my palms.
It took every ounce of strength I had to remain standing instead of collapsing outside the classroom door.
Footsteps sounded at the far end of the hallway, drawing closer.
I jolted back to my senses and fled before anyone could see me. In my panic, I rushed into the restroom and locked myself inside a stall.
The tears of heartbreak and humiliation had already broken free.
Chapter 2
Ethan’s words echoed through my mind, each one cutting away another piece of my pride.
If I hadn’t heard him with my own ears, I never would have believed that the boy speaking so callously was the same one who had held me through the night, our bodies entwined until neither of us had anything left.
So people could be that intimate without love.
They could lose themselves in the moment, whisper tender words, and still be lying.
What I had foolishly believed was the happy ending to six years of unrequited love was nothing more than a joke to everyone else.
The harder I cried, the worse it hurt. But I didn’t dare make a sound. I huddled inside the restroom stall, trembling uncontrollably as I fought to keep my sobs silent.
After what felt like forever, my phone chimed.
It was Ethan.
“You should get a ride home on your own. My class is having a party tonight, and it wouldn’t be convenient to bring you.”
I didn’t reply.
Another message appeared a moment later.
“Remember to buy the emergency contraceptive pill yourself. I don’t have time today. Make sure you take it, okay?”
I stared at the two messages in silence.
Yesterday, from dusk until dawn, Ethan had taken me again and again. By the time we finally stopped, we were both exhausted. Before falling asleep with his arms around me, he had murmured the same promise twice.
“We weren’t prepared since it was our first time. I’ll make sure to buy you the pill tomorrow.”
He had even told me that I needed to protect myself, that taking emergency contraception was important because an unplanned pregnancy could be hard on my body.
At the time, I’d thought he was being responsible. I’d thought my long-awaited happiness had finally arrived.
But now…
In that instant, my mind cleared.
I dug my nails hard into my palm and forced back the tears. Then I wiped my face, straightened my clothes, and left the restroom.
I was too embarrassed to walk into a pharmacy, so I ordered the pill online. Even after the delivery driver left it outside my door, I waited a long time before slipping out to retrieve it.
I swallowed the pill through my tears.
Afterward, it felt as though every last bit of strength had drained from my body. I sat motionless on the rug, staring into space.
Ever since the Sterling family moved in next door, I had followed Ethan around like a shadow.
Ten years.
I had never considered what a world without him might look like.
I hadn’t dared to imagine it.
But from now on, I would be alone.
Chapter 3
Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, lights flickered on across the neighborhood one by one, then gradually went dark again.
I had no idea how much time had passed when my best friend, Zoe Carter, video-called me.
“Natalie, why didn’t you come to our class party with Ethan tonight?” she demanded. “Vanessa Whitmore from the humanities track showed up instead. The second she realized you weren’t here, she started throwing herself at him. The two of them are making everyone sick.”
Then Zoe turned the camera toward them.
In a dim corner of the private karaoke lounge, Ethan Sterling sat pressed close to Vanessa Whitmore, the school’s It Girl.
Vanessa wore a cropped top and a tight denim skirt that made her waist look even slimmer and her legs impossibly long. The two of them seemed to exist in their own private world, separate from everyone around them. Even when they spoke, their heads were so close they might have been whispering into each other’s ears.
The chemistry between them was palpable, even through the screen.
My chest tightened involuntarily.
Ethan had only said this afternoon that he wanted to pursue her. Apparently, he’d already succeeded by tonight.
Vanessa drew a push-up dare in their game of truth or dare. She had to choose a guy to do push-ups over her.
As expected, Ethan immediately volunteered.
Everyone began cheering and egging them on.
Blushing, Vanessa obediently lay back on the couch. Ethan braced himself above her and knocked out dozens of push-ups without stopping.
He remained careful the entire time, doing his best not to touch her.
Then came the final push-up.
Maybe his arms finally gave out. Or maybe he did it on purpose.
Either way, he failed to catch himself and collapsed directly on top of her.
The screams around them nearly blew the roof off.
Both Ethan and Vanessa turned even redder.
With everyone chanting and shouting, Ethan finally gave in. He lowered his head and kissed her.
They launched into a passionate French kiss as if no one else were there.
It lasted three full minutes before they reluctantly pulled apart.
For those three endless minutes, I stared at the screen without blinking, too numb to remember to breathe.
It felt as though my heart had been torn apart while it was still beating.
I wanted to cry, but I’d already cried for so long that afternoon without drinking any water. There were no tears left.
“Wow. Natalie, did you get a good look at that?” Zoe said. “They were practically swapping spit. He is so into her.”
Still marveling at the scene, she turned the camera away and left the lounge.
Once she found a quiet corner, her expression grew serious.
“Natalie, don’t be mad at me. If you didn’t see it for yourself, you’d never give up on him.”
My throat was dry and raw, and the words came out painfully hoarse.
“I’m not mad at you.”
I only had myself to blame for being such a fool all these years.