Ficorpio
Chapter 1
I did something every man has fantasized about.
I married a pair of twins.
There was no wedding, no marriage certificate, and no public announcement.
We lived together under the same roof, doing everything we should—and everything we shouldn’t.
Back then, whenever I came home, three women would gather around me.
One of them was my wife.
It was a little complicated. There was no denying that.
I never imagined things would turn out this way.
It started when my wife told me that two of her younger cousins from back home had graduated and wanted to come to the city to look for work. They would only stay with us for a few days.
I agreed without a second thought. I had worked my way up from the bottom too, and I knew how overwhelming a city could be. It made sense to find a place near wherever they found jobs. Besides, my wife’s family came from a small town called Millbrook. I assumed her cousins were ordinary young women. We had spare rooms, after all. Leaving one empty seemed wasteful.
But when my wife brought them home, I froze.
What part of them looked like small-town girls?
My wife introduced them. “This is my older cousin, Chloe Hart, and my younger cousin, Zoe Hart.”
The two women greeted me together. “Nice to meet you, cousin’s husband.”
I stared at them, dazed, and blurted out, “You two look so much alike.”
My wife burst out laughing. “You didn’t notice? They’re twins.”
I studied their faces again and cursed myself for being so blind.
Their styles, however, couldn’t have been more different.
Chloe Hart was elegant and reserved, dressed in a sweater and a long skirt like a princess.
Zoe Hart was a riot of color, wearing a leather skirt and stockings like some mischievous fairy.
“You’re so handsome!” Zoe rushed toward me, arms outstretched for a hug, but Chloe caught her and pulled her back.
I stood there like an idiot, completely at a loss.
My wife said, “You two can sleep in the small bedroom. Is one bed all right?”
“Thank you, Claire. Thank you, Ethan,” Chloe said. “We’re really imposing on you. We’ll do everything we can to help with the housework.”
That was where it all began—far more peacefully than I could have imagined, like a bright, sunny afternoon just before a tsunami.
After Chloe moved in, the house felt different.
My wife and I were both fairly careless about domestic matters. We preferred spending our time on things we actually cared about, so we usually hired a cleaner to come by once a week.
Chapter 2
After Chloe had been staying with us for a while, the cleaner told me, “The place has been so spotless these last two visits that there’s barely anything for me to do.”
Normally, my wife and I ate out or ordered takeout. Now, every evening, I came home to a table full of different dishes, and they tasted surprisingly good.
Whenever I worked late, I’d find the dining room light left on, with a midnight snack and a glass of milk waiting for me.
One night, Chloe had fallen asleep on the couch. When I came in, she woke with a start, greeted me blearily, and immediately offered to heat up my food.
For a moment, I almost thought I’d married her instead.
Claire said that once Chloe learned I was working late, she insisted on waiting up for me. She was afraid I’d come home hungry and eat instant noodles, which wasn’t good for me.
I looked at my wife in confusion. “Why don’t you wait for me? You’re my wife.”
Claire’s expression turned solemn. “I’m tired.”
Chloe had practically taken over every chore in the house. She did the laundry, cooked, cleaned, and even washed my underwear herself.
Too embarrassed to tell her to stop, I started wearing disposable underwear and socks every day, throwing them away after one use.
“That girl is the perfect homemaker,” I said.
“What? Falling for her? Looking for someone like that?” Claire teased, nudging me with her shoulder.
We had a good relationship, and I knew she was joking.
“Don’t you think the house looks better now?” she asked.
I thought about it. “I guess there are a lot more flowers.”
“My younger cousin put them there. She likes fussing over things like that. This morning, she even asked me which anime or video-game character you like. She wants to cosplay for you.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her you like Doraemon.”
When I got home, I nearly jumped out of my skin.
Sitting beside the dining table was an Avatar with a bushy beard.
Chloe Hart gave me an embarrassed look. “Ethan, my sister insisted on dressing up as Doraemon. I couldn’t stop her…”
Claire was snickering beside her. I stumbled over my words. “That doesn’t really look like Doraemon. Doraemon’s body is shaped like two balls…”
The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them.
Zoe Hart thrust out her chest and announced loudly, “Ethan, I have two balls too.”
“What are you talking about? Go wash that off, now!” Chloe scolded her. “You’re in your twenties. Could you act a little more seriously? You’re behaving just like you did back home.”
“Oh.” Zoe pouted and started toward the bathroom. “Fine. You two eat first. I spent the whole afternoon getting everything ready.”
“You can take the makeup off after dinner,” I said, gesturing for her to sit back down. “I got home late today. Sorry.”
I washed my hands and took the seat beside Claire.
Claire placed a large piece of pork trotter in my bowl. “Try Chloe’s new dish. Bean and pork-trotter soup. It’s your favorite.”
Chapter 3
Chloe blushed. “I just followed some short online videos and guessed my way through it. Don’t make fun of me if it tastes bad, Ethan.”
I took a bite.
The meat was tender and rich, with a deep, savory flavor. It was easily the best braised pork trotter I’d ever had.
“Your older cousin spent the whole afternoon making it,” Claire added, ladling another spoonful of broth into my bowl. “She even went to the old-town market for the beans.”
I couldn’t help sighing in admiration. “This is incredible. It’s better than anything you’d get at a restaurant. Chloe, whoever marries you will have been blessed for generations.”
Chloe suddenly lowered her head.
Claire nudged me under the table. “Just eat. You talk too much. A pork trotter still can’t keep your mouth shut.”
I didn’t understand, but I had the distinct feeling I’d said something wrong.
The atmosphere at the table went quiet.
Trying to ease the sudden awkwardness, I asked, “How’s the job search going? Do you want me to ask around for you?”
The instant I finished speaking, Zoe set down her bowl.
“So Ethan wants us gone,” she said. “First it’s getting married, and now it’s finding jobs.”
She turned and stormed back to the bedroom.
Chloe rose from her chair and bowed deeply. “My sister doesn’t know how to behave. Claire, Ethan, please don’t blame her. I apologize on her behalf.”
Claire kicked me hard under the table again. “Your cousin didn’t mean anything by it. Ethan was only concerned about you two.”
I immediately nodded. “Exactly. I’m only concerned about you. I have no intention of forcing you out.”
“That’s enough. Stop talking,” Claire said, shoving me toward the kitchen. “You’re washing the dishes tonight.”
I knew I was a straightforward guy, but this was completely baffling.
Claire said she would handle it, and for the next few days, I found myself walking on eggshells.
I even bought gifts for both cousins as an apology, though I still had no idea what I was supposed to be apologizing for.
The truth was, having them live in our home did affect me, even if I couldn’t say they were exactly a burden.
Before they moved in, I could walk around the house in nothing but my underwear. Now I had to get fully dressed.
When I was tired, I used to collapse onto the sofa, play video games, watch television, and relax however I pleased. These days, I spent most of my free time confined to the study.
Fortunately, the house had three bathrooms, so at least we never had to fight over one.
I didn’t consider any of that a serious inconvenience, but it obviously wasn’t sustainable in the long run.
By my count, Chloe and Zoe had been staying with us for more than a month.
From time to time, I watched them and noticed that neither seemed particularly eager to find a job. Every day consisted of binge-watching shows, chatting, and dragging Claire out shopping.