Ficorpio
Chapter 1
I, a straight bro, had just been kissed by a man.
Actually, not just kissed.
The moral collapse, the complete breakdown of human decency, had happened less than twenty-four hours ago.
Before the power went out in our dorm suite, I’d been glued to my computer, frantically finishing my part of a group project. I was so focused I had no idea what anyone else was doing.
Then the whole place went dark.
Everything I’d worked on all night vanished with my screen.
Rage, despair, grief—every horrible emotion hit me at once. But I didn’t even get the chance to complain, because the entire building had already erupted. People were yelling up and down the halls like the apocalypse had arrived over a campus blackout.
Once the room fell into total darkness, my first thought was to find my phone so I’d at least have some light.
But before I could find my phone, someone found my hand.
I turned, confused, just barely making out a figure right in front of me. I was about to ask what the hell he was doing—who even was he—
And then he kissed me.
No warning. No hesitation. He just covered my half-open mouth with his.
At first I thought it had to be an accident. It was pitch black. Nobody could see anything. Lips accidentally bumping into lips in the dark… okay, weirdly possible, right?
Except after his mouth touched mine, he shoved his tongue into my mouth and started kissing me like he was trying to stir soup.
Which, for the record, was offensive on multiple levels.
I pushed at him immediately.
Thank God, after a few seconds, he actually backed off.
And I just stood there.
Frozen.
By the time my brain started working again, everyone else had already pulled out their phones, and the room was dimly lit by four screens. I looked around at the other guys in the suite—each one in his own spot, acting perfectly calm, like nothing had happened—and touched my lips in a daze.
Damn it.
If my mouth hadn’t still felt numb and weirdly damp, I might’ve convinced myself I hadn’t just lost my first kiss.
Which bastard had stolen it?
I didn’t sleep at all that night.
I genuinely couldn’t understand how my apparently normal roommates could do something that shameless.
Worse, I had no idea who it was.
The whole thing had happened in total darkness. Soft lips. Uneven breathing. Racing heartbeat. Tragically bad kissing technique.
But one thing I knew for sure—he was taller than me.
Based on that critical clue, I was able to eliminate…
No one.
Unfortunately, every guy in the suite was taller than I was.
After agonizing over it all night, I finally came up with a plan the next morning.
I didn’t have class, and since the blackout had wrecked my work, I rushed to the campus library to finish my part of the group assignment.
While I worked, I pulled out my phone and sent the same message to all four of my roommates in our individual chats.
Noah: Your kissing sucks.
There.
Let’s see which one of you gay little criminals kissed me.
The moment I sent it, I went back to working and waited for the replies.
The first one came pretty quickly.
Leo: I’ve never kissed you, so how would you know what I kiss like?
Leo was a freshman art major—ridiculously pretty, practically idol-level pretty, with a sweet mouth and clingy habits. He was always trailing after me and calling me “Noah” in that affectionate tone like we were way closer than we actually were.
His reply didn’t feel like a lie, but I didn’t answer him yet. I wanted to wait until everyone had replied.
The second message came from Julian Cross, our dorm rep.
Julian: Oh? Am I really that bad?
My right eyelid twitched the second I read it.
Okay. Suspicious.
Our suite was mixed across majors, so we weren’t all in the same classes. Julian was a junior in architecture, head of student government, polished to a terrifying degree, and handsome in the kind of way that almost didn’t feel real. He was good at everything. Social. Smooth. Calm. Too calm.
I’d always kind of admired him.
If it really was him…
Then I definitely didn’t anymore.
The third reply came from Tyler, whose bed was next to mine.
Tyler: Huh??? Wrong person?
Tyler was an athlete—tall, broad, built like he’d been assembled in a sports lab, with eight-pack abs and the kind of sunny grin that made people forgive him for having exactly one thought in his head at a time.
Honestly, he didn’t seem likely. If anyone in the room looked more like a straight bro than me, it was Tyler.
The last reply, naturally, came from Evan Hart, the guy across from me.
Evan: ?
That single question mark was painfully on brand for him.
Truthfully, I hadn’t meant to send it to Evan. There was no way it could be him. But I’d blasted the message without thinking, and he got it too.
Evan was also a second-year computer science major, same as me, though we weren’t in the same class section. He’d been the top student admitted from the whole city, a certified genius. On top of that, he had one of those unfair faces people noticed instantly. The second he showed up on campus, everyone started calling him the campus golden boy.
Chapter 2
But he was cold. Quiet. Untouchable. I’d barely exchanged more than a few words with him since move-in.
So no, there was no way.
After reading through all the replies, I thought it over for a minute, then started answering them one by one.
I didn’t ask directly if any of them had kissed me last night.
First, because I was not about to announce to the whole suite that I’d been kissed by one of my roommates.
Second, because if I played this right, the guilty bastard might think I already knew it was him and panic himself into confessing.
And come on—if I insulted his kissing, wouldn’t he naturally want to defend himself?
Genius. Honestly.
I replied to Julian first, since he was my number one suspect.
Noah: Yeah… it really wasn’t very good…
Noah: Sorry, man. Was that too blunt?
I couldn’t confront him directly yet. This kind of vague, half-covered conversation was exactly how you dealt with the deepest schemer in the room.
Next, I answered Leo.
Noah: Wait, we haven’t kissed?
I didn’t think Leo was lying, but he was always hanging around me. What if this was one of those situations where innocent little freshman energy peeled off and underneath was a manipulative gay mastermind?
Better to test him a little more.
Then Tyler.
I didn’t really suspect him. I’d seen his phone wallpaper before—it was some gorgeous female streamer. No gay guy would use that as a wallpaper, right?
Then again, Tyler had once told me I kind of looked like her.
…
Which was not great.
So I sent him this:
Noah: Oh? You think I sent that by mistake?
Let’s hear your answer.
As for Evan, I frowned at my phone, typed fast, and sent:
Noah: Sorry. Wrong person.
Perfect. Eliminated.
Right after I finished replying, my group leader called to inform me, in a voice full of impending homicide, that I was the only one who still hadn’t submitted my part of the project.
So I had no choice but to mute my phone and focus.
Luckily, I managed to finish and send everything before lunch.
I was in the student cafeteria when I finally had time to check my messages again.
To my surprise, Julian had never replied.
The other three had.
Leo: Noah, what are you talking about? Did you dream we kissed or something?
Tyler: …Yeah, you definitely sent that to the wrong person. Anyway, I’ve got practice.
Evan: Then who was it meant for?
Twenty-three minutes later, Evan had sent another message.
Evan: You there?
Tyler was basically off the suspect list at that point. If he’d really done it, there was no way he’d be that calm and just wander off to practice.
So I didn’t bother answering him.
Evan, though… Evan felt weird.
That wasn’t like him. Normally, once I said it was a mistake, he should’ve let it go.
After thinking it over, I replied:
Noah: Don’t think I need to tell you that. [awkward smile emoji]
As for Leo, I had a strong feeling he genuinely had no idea what I’d been hinting at. Whether that meant he was innocent or just unbelievably good at hiding things, I couldn’t tell.
After a moment, I typed:
Noah: Leo, I lost a game earlier and had to send those messages as a dare. Don’t take it seriously.
Forget it. I chose to trust him.
Leo replied almost immediately.
Leo: Hahaha ohhh, so that’s what it was. I thought your account got hacked! I was worried all morning QAQ
After that, I chatted with Leo off and on while I ate.
I didn’t go back to the dorm at noon. Instead, I ran to a store off campus to buy new boxer briefs.
Lately, for some reason, two pairs had mysteriously vanished. No clue where they’d gone. It was getting so bad I was nearly out of underwear, which was why I was emergency restocking in the middle of the day like a deeply cursed man.
That afternoon, our class had a combined lecture with Section One. The moment I walked into the lecture hall looking for a seat, I spotted Evan immediately.
He stood out in any crowd.
And for some reason, he looked at me.
Not just looked—he gave me this unreadable stare that made me instantly uneasy. I quickly found a seat a little behind him.
I’d been up all night, spent the whole morning rushing my project, and the professor had one of those absurdly soft, soothing voices that should’ve come with a medical warning.
So naturally, I fell asleep.
I woke up right on cue when the class bell rang.
Stretching happily, I packed my things and headed back to the dorm suite.
No one else was back yet, so I figured I’d shower first.
And while I was digging around for clean clothes, I discovered something horrifying.
Another pair of boxer briefs was gone.
What the hell?
And not just any pair—that had been my most expensive one.
Why was this happening to me?
Sure, I wasn’t exactly the most organized person on earth, but I had never, in all my years of being alive, lost this many pairs of underwear in such a short amount of time.
At this point I was going to need a separate bag just for them.
After some desperate searching, I finally found one wearable pair.
Technically I had just bought new ones, but I had a thing about washing new clothes before wearing them.
When I came out of the shower, I was toweling off my hair when Julian came in at top speed.
The second I saw him, my heart dropped.
And when he saw me, he smiled.
Then he walked straight toward me.
“Noah, done showering?”
I nodded awkwardly. “Yeah…”
Julian kept getting closer.
Instinctively, I stepped back.
And back.
Until my spine hit the wall.
Damn it. No way out.
Then Julian lifted a hand and brushed a finger through my damp hair. His voice turned soft.
“Noah, you said I’m a bad kisser, right?”
My scalp practically exploded.
He leaned in a little more.
Chapter 3
“How about we kiss now,” he said gently, “and you can decide whether I’m really that bad?”
“…”
That gay bastard. So it really was him.
I jerked away at once, just about to tell him absolutely not—
when a low male voice sounded from behind him.
“What are you two doing?”
The voice belonged to Evan.
He came in from the doorway, long legs carrying him straight toward us.
Julian, that sly old fox, recovered fast. He turned to Evan and said smoothly, “Nothing. I just thought Noah’s shampoo smelled really nice, so I was asking what brand it was.”
I immediately backed him up and tossed out some random shampoo brand to make the whole thing go away.
Evan frowned a little. His expression was strange, like maybe he’d seen something just now.
I didn’t dwell on it.
Because at that moment, the only thing that mattered to me was figuring out how to guard myself against Julian from now on.
I was now absolutely certain that the person who’d stolen that kiss from me during last night’s blackout was Julian Cross.
Seriously—just thinking about how everyone had been in the suite at the time, and he’d still dared to kiss me under those circumstances, made me feel genuinely unsafe.
From now on, I was staying the hell away from him.
Once I made up my mind, I deliberately pulled a jacket out of my closet and put it on, zipping myself up tight.
When Julian saw that, he even came over with this whole caring act and asked what was wrong, whether I was coming down with something.
Which, okay, fair question. It was hot as hell out. Nobody wore a jacket in this weather.
The second I saw him coming closer, I shook my head and told him I was fine.
Then I sat down at my desk and dried my hair with the blow dryer.
When my hair was finally dry, my phone chimed with a message notification. I tapped it open and saw it was from Evan.
[Evan Hart]: Was that text originally meant for Julian?
I turned and looked over at Evan across from me in confusion. He had his back to me, sitting at his computer, fingers moving over the keyboard. It looked like he was coding, totally focused, the perfect top-student image in full effect.
Who would’ve guessed he was secretly texting his opposite bunk roommate behind the scenes?
Tsk.
Still, this was way too gossipy for him. It really didn’t fit his style.
There was no way I was telling Evan the truth.
So after thinking it over, I replied:
Noah Bennett: Of course not. You’re overthinking it.
I had just put my phone down when he replied almost instantly.
[Evan Hart]: Then why were you two standing so close?
Noah Bennett: Didn’t we already explain that?
Noah Bennett: It’s just… my shampoo smells amazing. I guess he was stunned by it.
After I sent that, Evan didn’t respond again for a while, so I set my phone down and grabbed a bottle of canned milk from my cabinet.
It was almost time to eat. I’d had cafeteria food at lunch, and I was already sick of it, so I figured I’d order delivery instead.
I was sipping milk with one hand and scrolling through the delivery app with the other, trying to decide what to eat, when I suddenly felt someone come up behind me.
Thinking it was Julian, I whipped around instantly, full combat mode activated.
But it wasn’t him.
It was Evan.
He lowered his head and met my eyes for two seconds, then calmly walked back to his own desk.
Tsk. What was that guy doing?
I got my answer pretty quickly.
A new message from Evan popped up on my phone.
[Evan Hart]: Yeah. I just checked. It really does smell nice.
I went silent.
So he’d come up behind me just to confirm whether my shampoo actually smelled good?
After I finished ordering food, Leo came back to the dorm suite. The second he set down his sketch board, he walked over and asked, “Noah, why are you wearing so much? Aren’t you hot?”
“Not really. What did you draw today? Let me see.” I hurried to change the subject.
Leo didn’t think much of it. He picked up his board and started showing me his work.
I was in the middle of looking over his sketches and praising him when Tyler shoved open the suite door. The second he came in, he started yelling about how freaking hot it was. Then the moment he saw me, he blurted out at full volume:
“Oh, right, Noah—what the hell did you mean by that text saying my kissing sucked?”
The whole dorm went dead silent.
And me, the unfortunate star of this disaster, only had one thought in that moment:
I want to escape this building.
No, screw it.
Let’s all die together.
Fuck.
Tyler Brooks, you absolute bastard.
If I thought I could take him in a fight, I would’ve punched him already.
Was he seriously trying to ruin my life? At this rate, everyone in the suite was going to find out that text I sent had been a blast text.
I didn’t dare look at anyone else’s reaction. I could only force out an awkward laugh and play dumb. “Haha. What are you talking about?”
“Huh? This text.” Tyler lived for chaos, apparently. He actually pulled out his phone, opened the campus chat app, and shoved our message thread right in front of my face.
Leo Carter was closest to us, so of course he leaned over to look too. After reading it, he said, “Ohh, so you sent one to Tyler too, Noah.”
His tone was so innocent it was practically childlike.
And before that side of the disaster had even finished, Julian Cross casually piled on from the other side. “What a coincidence. I got the exact same text.”
The way he said it had this unmistakably loaded edge.
Me: “…”
Okay. Great. I was done for. What was I even supposed to say now? Maybe I should just make a run for it.
Right as I was seriously considering that plan, Tyler suddenly sounded relieved. “Oh, damn, so it was a blast text? Then Evan got it too, right?”
Please, man. Shut up. Just shut up for once in your life.